Year ahead? Year in rear view?

Hello everyone.. Merry Christmas! Amazing how 2018 has come and is about to go in exactly 1 week! Just like that we kiss 2018 goodbye. Usually in the last month of the year, folks are just so eager to see the new year; in this case 2019.. If I hear 2019 one more time……. Seriously though, why rush your life away? Every single day counts especially the last days of this year 2018.  Think of all the people you started 2018 with.. how many are coming with you to 2019? I thought so, in 2018 we lost some folks that we wont be able to pick up the phone and call again, or speak to.  Thankfully God blessed us with new born babies.  Let the last 7 days of the year count.  Some of you may have already began to put your vision boards together and that’s great.

This time I want to ask you to do something different: Take out a pen and paper and write down 7 things you are thankful for in 2018. It has to be specific to 2018.  For example, did you take a course and complete it in 2018? If yes, that’s something to be thankful for.  Did you accomplish a goal on your vision board for 2018? if yes, that’s something to be thankful for.  I emphasize 2018 because I want you to be intentional about your time on earth. Every second, minute, hour counts.. and they add up. If you are able to find 7 things specific to 2018 that you are thankful for, you will appreciate 2018 and not rush it off.  And this exercise will help you focus better on 2019.

I am thankful for 2018 despite it being one of my toughest years.

1. I am thankful that my daughter had only 1 ER episode in 2018. This is a big deal to me given the fact she was born preemie and we’ve had several hospital episodes with her.
2. I am thankful for winning more souls to Christ than I did in the past couple of years. I felt a release of strength whenever I talked about Jesus. Best feeling ever.
3. I am thankful for our first home ownership and the lessons along the way.
4. I am thankful for completing a 10 week real estate certificate. It was a goal of mine and I accomplished it and made some really cool friends.
5. I am thankful for completing a 1 year Women in Power fellowship program. It was a hard one to complete especially with the commitments it required but I did it
6. I am thankful for the opportunity of being a manager a work.  This role is quite tough however, it brought out some skills I never thought I had in me.
7. I am thankful for all the new people I met either physically or through social media. I have found some new mentors that I admire and their story will help me in my next journey of adventures.

As we wrap up 2018, try to tally up your 2018 moments.. and reflect on them over the next 7 days. And while you are reflecting, have a pen and note pad beside you because there will be changes you’ll want to make for 2019. Good luck and have a wonderful Christmas and a Prosperous 2019.

God bless you!

Appreciate Humble Pie

Last night while I was studying for yet another licensing exam ( I will save my complaint for another day), a junior colleague came to me and said “I now realize that I don’t know anything. And everything I am asked to do, I will do it knowing that I will learn something No matter how menial the task is.” – Then I gave him this blank stare, ( secretly happy that he figured it out pretty early compared to his peers) and in my naija broken English said ” nah now you dey sabi? Abeg comot.” Granted this junior colleague is Nigerian and he was expecting a response like that from me.

The point I want to make is this – no matter how bad society paints Wall Street, it is the one place that you are guaranteed to eat Humble Pie regularly. Meaning – it’s a constant meal that will be fed to you over and over again no matter how many wins you’ve had and no matter how high you climb. Analyst to CEO = constant humble pie.

Humble Pie – Is a humility meal. It keeps you in check and keeps you in a phase of practical learning. It exposes your gaps and challenges you to fill those gaps with the right knowledge.

With a healthy dose of Humble Pie – you are guaranteed to grow and if you like growing, you will eventually love and respect the meal.

Humble pie and Pride cookie don’t and will never get along period.

Let me paint a real life scenario – Imagine you a fresh college grad graduated top of the class, probably president of several clubs and events in school ( you can imagine how much pride cookies you’ve accumulated )……. and your first day on the trading desk, you are asked to go get coffee for 10 members of your team who have a variety of order request…..and you better get the order right. Pretty sure you are asking – what has getting coffee got to do with this job? After all I didn’t go to school to become a coffee boy/girl. I came to trade! Yeah you did 😳

But here is the deal, getting the coffee is like getting a trade order from a client. Getting several coffees is like getting several trade orders. If you don’t get the instructions right, you are likely to lose money. And who will want to put a first year analyst on the phone to receive orders from a client? How can we test that you are listening and can follow instructions? We test with coffee. 😉

So the next time you feel you’ve been given a task beneath you, ask God to reveal to you what you need to learn from the task before you react from overeating pride cookie.

A very important point to note – God gives grace to the humble. And if God is for you, who can be against you?

Until next time stay humble!!

Faith & Beautifier

Yes Heather Lindsey had to drop this one on Instagram yesterday. So true words…. which brings me to the story of The Beautifier Conference. For a long time I will always ask God to show me my purpose on earth and true to Fashion, God will show me but yours truly just did not want to accept it. My calling did not reflect a glamorous life with “stupid money” to spend anyhow. Finally in 2016, I asked God again and I said “This time Lord, show me what you created me for and communicate it to me so that I know it’s you and not doubt.” Sure enough, My Heavenly Father did that and did it so well. First off I don’t dream often; and when I dream and remember, it’s usually a message for me or for someone else. So God showed me my calling in a dream on the night of my birthday – like could it get any more real? When I woke up – the Holy Spirit said, “clock is ticking.” And the rest y’all is history. I took the step of faith and said Yes Lord.

In 2017, I co-organized my church’s very first women’s conference called the Beautifier Conference. It was an awesome experience and despite how busy I was with work, family etc, I was never too busy for Beautifier 😁. (That’s how it should be). Tomorrow October 13th, 2018 – we shall be having our 2nd conference and it is going to be another life changing experience. Ever since the first Beautifier Conference, I have had opportunities to speak at other Conferences and lead a number of women specific sessions. I am not sure I would have had the opportunities I have now if I didn’t take that first step.

So if you are in the area, be sure to stop by and fellowship with us.

Have a lovely weekend 😘

Reflecting…..

Happy Sunday!  This past week – I missed my late aunt and mentor so much.  She would have been 53 this month. I wished I spoke to her a lot more than I did. She was the strongest woman I knew and I just could not imagine that she would die so soon.  I miss her a lot and sometimes the “success road” can get very lonely.  With her, I didn’t have to say much before she got it.  Two years gone now.. I wont say there is void in my heart.. Truly I believe she completed her mission in my life.. I just was not ready to see her go.  Last year I wrote a reflection piece and  I want to share it here. Hopefully someone will become motivated, encouraged or inspired by it.

Happy Reading

August 2017 is beautiful month for me and more importantly a reflection of decisions and experiences triggered right about this time last year. Before I delve into such reflection, let me say a couple of happy birthdays to some great people in my life: Mummy, Aunty Osasu, Shabs, Chocho, Ogo and of course my beautiful daughter – Grace. I also want to wish my beautiful little sis – Ese a very happy married life and a big welcome to Kola (my newest brother in-law).
August 2017 marks one year since my aunt and mentor – Osaretin Oyewunmi (nee Odaro) went on to be with the Lord and every time I think about her I get a bit emotional. I’ve always known that aunty Reti had a big impact in my life but I became fully aware of it after she died. Every professional decision I’ve made has been greatly influenced by her. Sometimes I wish I could pick up the phone and give her progress report – But I can’t. She is in a much better place. I learned a lot from Aunt Reti. I am going to share some key things that I learned from my aunt and I hope it encourages at least one person (woman especially) who reads this.
1. Don’t hide your talent. It has been given to you to for a purpose. You are not going to please everyone and there is a great likelihood that some people (if not most) will find you intimidating….. but that’s ok. Be who God has called you to be. If it’s your calling to challenge the status quo please do so unashamedly.
2. You are going to make mistakes (big and small). That’s ok too. The question to ask is: What did you learn from it? Pick up yourself and keep moving.
3. If you are looking to accomplish certain things, you just have to put your feelings aside and treat them as projects. Set goals and get them done! No questions. (Chuckle: Reminds me of the last intense conversation I had with her)
4. It’s ok to share your experiences (good and bad) so that the ones behind you (who look up to you) don’t make the same mistakes again.
5. In all these things, enjoy life – we are not guaranteed tomorrow so make the best of today.
11 days after my aunty died – I went into preterm labor and gave birth to one of the strongest girls I know – Grace Ehizuwa Osaretin. Grace was born at 27 weeks and under 2lbs (13 weeks before her due date), she had to be resuscitated and placed on jetted ventilation tube to save her life. I saw this tiny little girl fight for her life in a feisty way, it was so inspiring. 3 days after her birth, Grace ex-tubated herself and only needed oxygen prongs in her tiny nostrils. She pretty much set the pace of her progress while in the NICU. 11 weeks later, we took her home. Grace is the true definition of God’s divine grace on my life. Being an emotional rec with little or no room for an outlet, I needed every strength in me to keep moving. Even with the intimate knowledge of God I had, I was too weak to pray. I was numb.
Numb was the word that could best describe my state of mind for the next 4 months. I didn’t want to be the person that asked God “why me” but by November when the movers we hired, stole my sentimental jewelry (including my diamond engagement and wedding rings).. I screamed not only “Why Me?” But “Who did I offend?”, “Nah only me one?”, “wetin sef” and God knows what other things fell out of my mouth.. I had cried so much in the months past that I barely had tears to shed…. Let me digress a bit here.

You see before I lost my aunt and had Grace, 2016 had started out a bit difficult. It was just crappy. Work was stressful, constantly arguing with hubby, had friends drama and then got caught in the middle of it. Adding in to that I just felt like I wasn’t growing or connecting with God anymore – that inner hunger and thirst was fizzling away.

In the midst of all the drama and stress, there was strength to move forward. I had a quiet confidence that everything was going to be alright. All because i had ingrained in my head that no one goes through tough times and comes out short changed especially children of God.

God came through in ways I could never imagine. He sent helpers at every time of my need. My family members came through in most dynamic ways. A big shout out to Pst Lamide our diva nanny who was taking care of my 17month old at that time while I was dealing with NICU issues; I am grateful for mentos – yes the candy bar that my hubby and I shared and munched on as we walked to and from the hospital. God found ways to keep me pre-occupied in his work through my lovely Pastors Femi and Itee (Day of Bliss –October 2016 – looking for LMAM NY choir outfits in the fashion district of New York.) The Christ Embassy NY church members that were aware of what was going on came through big time being very supportive all the way. God always sent his word at the time I needed to hear it and He has kept his word thus far. God showed me his plans for me on my birthday – The best birthday gift that I’ve ever gotten.

One year gone and I can smile about the experience. I could look back in one year and think I lost a lot but honestly, I gained a lot more qualitative things. We can go about thinking that our works/good deeds/riches will help us at our time of need which they may for a little while but it’s much deeper than that. It is our belief and trust in God through Jesus Christ that brings forth the victory. It is knowing that my life experiences once entrusted to him will surely be for his glory. And God’s glory cannot be overlooked or ignored. It is that shining light that obstructs darkness. This is the light in me that keeps shinning.

NUU

Until next time.. Thrive this week!

 

Q&A: Professional & Waiting

Today: I am going to try to answer a question that one of my mentees had asked that I address. The question goes like this –

“What to do whilst waiting for marriage. From a single professional female’s perspective. People keep saying “Pretty, you are single and ready, what are you doing to meet guys etc..”? Honestly used to just think, he’ll meet me doing the things I do (church, work, hanging out with friends). Now I’m trying to be more proactive and doing other things e.g Spanish lessons, but not sure if that’s the way either. Plus I often get wierded out when a guy approaches me saying “baby you look sexy….” The “lets-be-friends-first” approach works better for me….”

I get asked the question often and truth be told, I am not an expert. Infact I have made so many stupid mistakes ehn.. Thank God for God who has saved me multiple times without end.  With that said, I do believe I got a lot of lessons from the mistakes I’ve made and from the revelation of God’s word, and I’m happy to share them with you when needed.

Now real talk – As born again sisters, there is something we all need to have ingrained in our DNA – God’s ways are higher than our ways, and God’s thoughts are higher than our thoughts. – Gbam!

Once that registers, then we can ask God to fine tune our spiritual antennas so we can hear from Him and then order our steps in the direction He wants us to go.  I am not sure I’ll be able to answer the entire question today but lets see how far the Holy Spirit takes us.

I wanted to flag a couple of things from the posed question.

#1 When people say you are ready it does not mean God said you are ready. – Finishing school and having a job does not automatically make you wife material. Does it show a sense of maturity and independence? Yes. And that’s exactly what it is, a maturity indicator. One of the many indicators for marriage preparation. With that said, the next time you pray, ask God this question- “Lord am I ready for marriage? If I am, please open my eyes and guide my path to receive the man who you have prepared for me. If I am not, reveal to me the areas that I need to work on to get ready and guide me through the journey of preparation.

#2 Put value on your time. I liken our roles in relationships the way we are physically created ( female anatomy). We physically created to receive in order to produce. Given that our production is based on what we receive, I want to assume that we will be guarded and highly selective of who we allow in our environment. In other words how we spend our time and who we spend our time with becomes super critical especially as a single woman. I am yet to meet someone who happily wants to be called a “bad producer”. With that said positioning yourself to be seen has to be led by the Holy Spirit. And while the Holy Spirit is leading you, spend your time doing the things you enjoy that adds value to your life overall. If you are picking up classes or hobbies that are of no interest to you but for the purpose of putting yourself out there, girl you will drive yourself to depression. You will just get exhausted and irritated.

#3 Enjoy being single. Enjoy spending time all by yourself for days, weeks, months and years. Intrigue yourself without the help of anybody. I am sure you’ve heard this multiple times and I will reiterate it again. If you can be single and happy, then you are equipping yourself to survive the lonely days in Marriage because those days do come and could last for a decent amount of time. If you can enjoy your single days, then you won’t give too much emphasis on what you could have done if you were still single after being married. If you don’t enjoy single life, your regrets after being married becomes far more exaggerated which takes its toll on you dims the hope of having a better marriage. Marriage is work and you have to be ready for it. It’s an institution- meaning non-stop learning, testing, recalibrating and re-engaging.

…… ok let this sink in. I will be back with more thoughts.